Hair Bows and Rows of Rose: January 2011

Okay, I am the first to admit I know very little about men's magazines. I recognize them because they are the ones that have bikini models on the front. Clearly I am wrong. Meet Details. In Googling actors during the Golden Globes, I kept encountering Details Magazine as a result. This made me seriously consider a subscription (ten issues for ten dollars...yes!). Before doing that, however, I wanted to find out more about the magazine. Wikipedia gave me this insightful (yeah right!) blurb:

Details is an American monthly men's magazine published by Condé Nast Publications, founded in 1982. Though primarily a magazine devoted to fashion and lifestyle, Details also features reports on relevant social and political issues

Well thanks for nothing, Wikipedia! It told me one important piece of information: the magazine is for men. Every cover I saw had a popular and dashing man on the cover. No bikinis. Even Cosmo covers are all swim suits and female models. One day, I will buy a copy of Details and learn the content for myself. If all goes well, I will buy myself a ten dollar subscription. Until then, I'll just look at the covers.

On Wednesday, the biggest weather story of the day was snow in every state but one: Florida. For once, I was where the snow was not. And it was great. It was cold there, don't get me wrong. The captain of our pirate ship cruise called and canceled our day trip on Wednesday. But 60 degrees just doesn't seem that bad for January. Actually, it was a nice break from the frigidity of northern Illinois. But that's enough about weather. I spent six days in Orlando. I have better things to brag about than the temperature.

From the beginning, our trip was destined for greatness. After two hours of straight turbulence, the captain aboard our airplane announced we would be landing in minutes to sunshine, low humidity and a breezy 70 degree day. Thank you, captain! When we left the airport, the first thing we noticed was a landscape centered around palm trees. Palm trees mean eternal summer to me. What a nice welcome! From there, we ate lunch and scampered off to the house we stayed at. It was called Triton's Castle. My dear friend Becky and I shared the little girls' room. Drowning under a sea of stuffed animals were two twin sized beds and a shell phone. I promise you, it's for LITTLE girls. Every piece of fabric in the room had a demonic Ariel winking at us. She sees all.

That night, we went to a little sports bar called Gators. When we noticed the menu was lacking anything with gator meat, we initially claimed false advertising. Then we remembered University of Florida claims the gators as their mascot. Okay, it makes sense. We just didn't think of that at first! Anyway, moving on. We went grocery shopping. "Why do we care about your grocery run, Melissa? You are unnecessarily detailed in this blog." Well, meanie, inside Walmart lived the first great surprise of Florida. There was a full gift shop's worth of Disney memorabilia inside. Turns out, all grocery stores carry Disney souvenirs. Actually, all stores in the Orlando/Kissimmee area carry Disney souvenirs. Who knew?

Monday started off with a bang! Dad was making eggs and bacon without any trouble. Then the second I started the toaster, the smoke detector went off. To make matters worse, the ceiling is about ten feet tall. That's when Dad climbed on the counter to blow air on the detector until it stopped crying at us. By this time, our entire family was up. An hour and half later and we were out the door. The men went golfing and the ladies went to Downtown Disney for the day. Before you get excited, Downtown Disney is a shopping strip that backs up to the park. We didn't actually go to Disney. We had other parks to see.

Tuesday was our big day. We went to ~~Universal Islands Adventure~~ Hogsmeade. The Hogwartsr ride is uh-maze-ing! The line to the ride took us through the green houses, the halls of Hogwarts, Dumbledore's office, the defense against the dark arts class room and more. Harry, Hermione and Ron were in the classroom casting spells. Dumbledore lectured us in his office. We heard the portraits arguing over various topics. The sorting hat spoke to us. So much happened in there! Then when we made it to the Room of Requirement, we were thrust into seats on an enchanted bench. The bench took us through the floo network to Hogwarts grounds. When we got there, Harry and Ron attempted to lead us to the Quidditch grounds only to encounter Hagrid's lost dragon in our path. He chased us in and out of the building. We finally shook him off in the Forbidden Forest. Naturally, Aragog and his family terrorized us a bit until we got away. Then we somehow ended up in the Chamber of Secrets where dementors attacked! EEK! Luckily, Harry cast a patronus. We only barely escaped. Somehow or other, we ended up back in the great hall where all of our friends applauded our safe arrival. Dumbledore seemed especially pleased with our escape. My only regret is that the dragon kept us from playing quidditch. I wanted to try out for chaser. Oh well. But really, this is the greatest ride I have ever been on. I know I don't have much credibility as far as rides go, but this was fantastic. It was everything a Harry Potter geek could dream of. While in Hogsmeade, we had butterbeer and pumpkin juice (my personal fav). All of the shops were authentic. We quite literally walked into Olivander's to buy a wand. I went to the Owlry to mail my postcards. It was fantastic! I can't even describe just how truly fantastic it was! Oh, and the rest of Universal was nice, also. Except the Cat in the Hat ride. That was just terrifying. Do not bring your children on that ride. Stick to the Sneetches ride and the Caro-Seuss-el. Those are safe. **About the video link. That video shows most of the ride. The scariest part is the slow motion cartwheel one of the possessed Things does during the glow in the dark portion of the ride. Really, it's a Chucky moment.

Wednesday was supposed to be the pirate cruise. Captain Jack Sparrow canceled due to treacherous winds at sea. Instead we went to a peculiar Flea Market. I found an iPod cord there. Mom bought me a new duffel bag, too. We went to a few other places that day as well. It was a laid back, easy day.

Thursday was another adventure. Mom and I were up first and made a quick decision on plans for the day. We decided on an Eco-Safari at Forever Florida. The actual safari was cool. We rode in one of those safari open bus things. Halfway, our guide stopped and we walked around a boardwalk in the boggy-bog. Unfortunately, the trip started off with the world's worst history videos. There was too much information about the death of a son that launched ranch and safari project. There wasn't enough information on what was to come. To cap off the video, they played an over-dramatized song about Florida, Forever Florida throughout the entire video. We had it stuck in our heads for the rest of the day. It's stuck in my head now from thinking about it. Also, Allen (the lost son) looked like Kirk Cameron. Naturally, the Growing Pains theme song is also stuck in my head. I'm already planning a mash-up the theme song and Forever Florida for my first comedy album. It will rock.

Friday brought great warmth and great sadness. We shopped all day in the beautiful 70+ sunshine. Then we went to the airport at 5 to longer lines than we saw at Hogwarts. Dad was stopped in security. After trapping him in the plexi-glass room, they swabbed his hand with something and sent him on his way. Hilarious! What wasn't hilarious was the two hour delay for our plane. Luckily, they were able to move our entire flight (and luckily our luggage) to another plane. Ours was apparently having trouble with static electricity. But we made it home. I am STILL tired from all the fun of the week. If you weren't one of the many who went to Florida this break, I hope you get the opportunity to go sometime. It's warm there.

Hair Bows and Rows of Rose

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday nights with Melissa

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I LOVE TEA! And I love this teapot.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Who is supposed to read this magazine???

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Florida is warm even when it's not.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

FedEx

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Success apparently leads to disappointment and fear